tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55172877245196997002012-01-25T12:22:09.647-06:00Where crankiness and prodigious amounts of homosexuality collideThe Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comBlogger2931100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-33300112836462314852011-06-14T16:20:00.003-05:002011-06-14T16:27:15.084-05:00

In the wake of the recent "Gay Girl in Damascus" and "LezGetReal" blog scandals, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to do something I should have done years ago <!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> /* Style Definitions */

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-48773058080901963902010-02-14T00:01:00.002-06:002010-02-14T00:08:50.536-06:00

As some of you might recall, this time last year I was blathering about cubic zirconias and fried chicken, as I'm wont to do throughout the year but particularly on our most romantic holidays (Valentine's Day, Koninginnedag, Polish Independence Day; you know, all the usual suspects). This year I'll be blathering alarmingly gooey "No, I love you more" stuff to the woman who has kept me away from

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-28532593849751155302009-09-30T17:02:00.000-05:002009-09-30T17:02:05.761-05:00

And guess who just won a completely meaningless bet? I did, that's who.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-27464579408180900932009-09-21T12:03:00.002-05:002009-09-21T12:13:37.691-05:00

First there was "gayface," and now there's "gayfacebook," as MIT students Carter Jernigan and Behram Mistree have found a way to determine whether male Facebook users are gay -- regardless of whether the men disclose their orientation to all of the Internet. Jernigan and Mistree's homosexualist-spotting program was unable to help them zero in on wily lesbians and bisexuals, and I'd make a lame

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-84710204111226516842009-09-01T14:26:00.000-05:002009-09-01T14:26:53.028-05:00

It's the question all of America is asking (and by "all of America," I mean seven people, including two in the UK and one in Canada, none of whom will care enough to check back for an answer later this month unless they're really, really bored at work or forget to clear their browsing history and accidentally select "Cranky Lesbian" on their drop-down menu when they mean to click something else),

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-77853867752239904232009-08-27T13:31:00.002-05:002009-08-27T13:38:51.503-05:00

Apparently that's what a lascivious John Gielgud would be asking you if he were still alive. But he's dead as dead can be, so I'll ask instead: Anyone had any dirty phone calls lately? I haven't. A few days ago I picked up on the third or fourth ring and was greeted by heavy breathing that was ultimately revealed as the work of my grandfather, who sucks in air like Darth Vader over the phone (

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-16674857811789637462009-08-26T11:50:00.001-05:002009-08-26T11:58:05.758-05:00

Right here. When my girlfriend (who recently told me to get off my lazy ass and update this motherfucking blog already, but in a less Samuel L. Jackson-ish tone than that) and I get married, that's the first thing we're going to do: hit a guy with a shoe, both of us, so that way we can honeymoon in a luxurious prison cell that boasts amenities like a creaky cot and a toilet that hasn't worked

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-63096406972725578262009-07-12T23:46:00.004-05:002009-09-21T12:08:04.751-05:00

Duncan James of the British band Blue has come out as bisexual (warning: the link will take you to a trashy UK tabloid website that will hurt your eyes and possibly your intellect), and the best part of any boy band member coming out is always reading the comments his borderline illiterate fans make online afterward, so let's sample some of the reaction to his announcement:"this news is brill!!!!

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-23609064990822776362009-07-05T19:45:00.001-05:002009-07-05T19:51:36.698-05:00

Back in May*, I asked if eight greater words than "Federer stuns clay king Nadal in Madrid final" had been written all year. That's a distant memory now, with the French Open in the rearview mirror, and this evening I saw a ten-word proclamation that must certainly qualify as the best headline I've read all year (other than "Palin Resigns"): "Roger Federer confirms he is greatest ever in

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-84291944787332843952009-06-27T02:57:00.000-05:002009-06-27T02:57:17.890-05:00

You can read all about it in the New York Times, where this is apparently news -- three pages worth of it -- to some people.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-37043181042999636562009-05-17T13:19:00.000-05:002009-05-17T13:19:00.445-05:00

"Federer stuns clay king Nadal in Madrid final" -- my vote is yes.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-42528252364931944762009-05-10T20:00:00.001-05:002009-05-10T20:00:00.767-05:00

Not to spoil the movie or anything, but Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in that box.My dear, dear mother doesn't know about this blog (my siblings give her enough to be distraught about as it is), but should she ever learn of it, one of the first things she'd do is search for mentions of herself -- to see if she has grounds for a libel suit. Well, Mom, you're going to have to find another reason to

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-13648771533895938612009-05-07T11:45:00.004-05:002009-05-07T12:15:30.649-05:00

More mothers would entrust their children to lesbians Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi than to Jennifer Aniston, international tabloid sensation "Brangelina," and media titan Oprah Winfrey (whose omnipresent "best friend" Gayle King was not mentioned in the survey), according to a poll conducted by some website I've never heard of before.*While this might seem mildly interesting on the surface

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-4828688180428125802009-05-04T14:00:00.002-05:002009-05-04T14:00:00.872-05:00

We've already established that in Senegal, there are few pastimes more popular than the irrational hatred of homosexuals. But Senegalese villagers recently took their maniacal homophobia to a depraved new low, exhuming the body of a young man from a Muslim cemetery not once but twice, and depositing his corpse in front of his parents' house on the second occasion, because he was reportedly gay.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-64243251059846672702009-04-30T10:53:00.005-05:002009-04-30T10:59:09.490-05:00

This time it's former Amish widow-turned-civilian astrophysics instructor Kelly McGillis who has shocked absolutely no one by swinging open the closet door. My brother, who had a crush on her when he was a little boy who watched Top Gun over and over again (I still haven't forgiven him for that), will be devastated, though that's really no one's fault but his own -- I've spent the last 20 years

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-15472162496464235422009-04-24T21:55:00.000-05:002009-04-24T21:55:00.681-05:00

From the Radio Netherlands website comes the strangest headline I've read all week: Lesbian Women Report Growing Intolerance. No word on whether lesbian men have been experiencing similar problems.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-58868810828123792342009-04-23T20:01:00.002-05:002009-04-23T21:57:15.263-05:00

Earlier this month I wrote that I hoped to post more in the coming weeks. That hasn't happened just yet, partly because my concentration has been shattered by a woman who still hasn't figured out that she could easily find someone who is smarter and funnier (but certainly not more attractive) than me to pay attention to, and partly because I think we already knew in our heart of hearts that

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-23128620065063514682009-04-18T17:15:00.002-05:002009-04-18T17:26:39.836-05:00

Canadian lesbian -- like there's any other kind -- Ashleigh Pechaluk loved her girlfriend Nicola Puddicombe so much that she practiced writing love letters to her that expressed warm and fuzzy (and trite) sentiments like "Baby, you are my angel ... I want to enjoy my life, and the only way I can do that is if you're by my side."But Puddicombe, who made similarly goopy declarations of love in a

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-53439753024640889072009-04-12T21:17:00.000-05:002009-04-12T21:17:32.283-05:00

Nor was I captured by Somali pirates, despite what the mainstream media has reported. I've been busy with various things that keep people busy (like not observing Passover and wondering how the new "Fast and the Furious" movie made so much money at the box office last weekend), and I will hopefully be less busy this week. Unless you've all enjoyed the silence over the last few days and would

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-81372376292384013402009-04-08T21:00:00.001-05:002009-04-08T21:02:55.924-05:00

Do yoga with your dog. Has it really come to this? Are people truly so bored and so eager to spend money on absolute crap that they're going to turn this into a fad? And don't dogs have it bad enough as it is, what with having to relieve themselves outdoors year-round and being yelled at to stay off the furniture? Won't somebody think of the dogs?! They're plenty flexible already: haven't

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-13049616366007560272009-04-04T21:53:00.003-05:002009-04-04T21:57:58.006-05:00

In July of last year, a producer for the 8,000-year-old British soap opera "Coronation Street" told The News of the World, that bastion of journalistic integrity, of plans to add a lesbian character to the show's cast. Today, The News of the World is reporting that the lesbian will be "teen terror Sophie Webster," who has been on the program since the early '90s. But wait, there's more:Sophie (

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-9907439210251955112009-04-04T11:18:00.000-05:002009-04-04T11:18:00.785-05:00

When you can't log on to the Internet without reading stories like this and this, and when you can't turn on a tennis match anymore without seeing Roger Federer lose to an inferior opponent, what is there to be happy about?

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-506279658227320802009-03-30T09:00:00.002-05:002009-03-30T09:03:59.664-05:00

Penélope Cruz has already been getting into character during press conferences.The story of the two female police officers in Israel who posed undercover as a lesbian couple to help bust 46 drug dealers needs to be made into a movie, right now. The plot will have to be tweaked a little, in typical Hollywood fashion, so the officers slowly find themselves attracted to each other in real life, but

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-18160069266726326622009-03-29T18:30:00.003-05:002009-03-29T18:35:52.476-05:00

Woody Allen finds these ads very troubling; as you might recall, he fathereda child with a lesbian in "Manhattan" and had a hard time dealing with it.Have you ever wondered why there are often ads for find-a-sperm-donor services on this, a website that has nothing to do with wanting, having or raising babies? (Not that I have anything against babies. They're cute and some of them have a weird

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-48964748580302335502009-03-29T10:50:00.005-05:002009-03-29T16:59:28.359-05:00

Julie Depardieu tends to Quentin Dubuis in "A Secret"I don't recommend you seek out Claude Miller's Holocaust drama "A Secret" for its lesbian content, which is virtually nil, or for any other reason. The story of François, a young French boy who was born to Jewish parents in the 1940s and spent his childhood convinced he was competing against a "phantom brother," it's a handsomely made film

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-61356060278348537742009-03-27T14:50:00.007-05:002009-04-02T07:25:54.141-05:00

Remember earlier this month when I speculated that maybe parents of teens and pre-teens in Australia wouldn't act like fuckheads about the upcoming lesbian kissage on "Home and Away"? I was way, way wrong.The Australian is now reporting that "Since the lesbian story-line began two weeks ago, 100,000 viewers have turned off and complaints have been flooding in," prompting producers to edit the

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-49880369694864774712009-03-26T18:45:00.002-05:002009-03-26T18:53:31.996-05:00

Gay rights activists in Morocco (one of Marlene Dietrich's favorite on-screen spots for picking up women -- in real life, I think she'd pick 'em up anywhere) are worried that the already limited rights of the country's gays and lesbians are being threatened anew by the Moroccan government's purported plans to "preserve citizens' ethics and defend our society against all irresponsible actions that

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-43557912201822811062009-03-26T11:15:00.001-05:002009-03-26T11:15:30.019-05:00

Mind you, I'm not bored enough to paint a gigantic penis on the roof of anyone's house, but this has been a very uneventful day so far and we're not even through the morning yet...

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-85853787461154703392009-03-25T19:19:00.000-05:002009-03-25T19:19:00.480-05:00

This, if you ask me, is quite possibly the WTF to end all WTFs: CHAIRMAN of the Jamaica Cancer Society, Earl Jarrett, has raised concerns that the fear of being labelled homosexuals is causing some Jamaican men to shy away from doing prostate examinations, resulting in the country maintaining the record of having one of the highest prostate cancer rates in the world.Or, as Jarrett recently

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-4905223825678841102009-03-22T18:54:00.001-05:002009-03-22T18:54:00.705-05:00

British reality TV star Jade Goody died this morning of cervical cancer, as almost everyone with a working Internet connection must know by now, and what does the ever-respectful Sun newspaper have to say about it? I didn't read the body of the article, but I think you'll agree that the headline speaks for itself: "Jade Goody loses cancer fight - Mum was a lesbian, Dad was a drug addict burglar

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-38469339375630448272009-03-20T12:45:00.005-05:002009-03-20T12:53:33.118-05:00

Some choice reader comments in response to an innocuous USA Today article about a new Williams Institute study that analyzed poverty rates among "the gays" and found that "children of same-sex parents are twice as likely to live in poverty as those of traditional married couples."Lee Badgett, a co-author of the study, points out that gay families are at a financial disadvantage because they're

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-46538183625203021212009-03-17T12:17:00.000-05:002009-03-17T12:17:00.756-05:00

For several days I've been waiting to read something, anything, that's worth writing about here, but nothing was happening ... until now. ABC is finally, after eight seasons that had to be horrible since even the commercials made for tedious viewing, killing "According to Jim." That will free the show's star, "Curly Sue" actor Jim Belushi, to spend more time being unfunny around his family, who

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-60908573205244715952009-03-14T21:26:00.001-05:002009-09-21T12:08:12.979-05:00

When I first clicked on a story called "In Argentina, a Camera and a Blog Make a Star" at the New York Times website this morning, I had no idea who it was about. But the second I saw a picture of 17-year-old Agustina Vivero, a popular "flogger" (or photo blogger) from Argentina whose Internet success has earned her modeling gigs, TV offers and promotional appearances, I thought to myself, "Do

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-41595672368584793132009-03-12T14:15:00.000-05:002009-03-12T14:15:00.337-05:00

From The Guardian: "Raped and killed for being a lesbian: South Africa ignores 'corrective' attacks"

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-15189736747892246802009-03-10T15:50:00.002-05:002009-03-10T15:55:12.003-05:00

Quick, someone call John Lithgow. This madness must be stopped! A policewoman character on the Australian soap opera "Home and Away" is about to find love with a female deck hand (is it safe, then, to assume they don't have lumberjacks in Australia?) in a story line that will feature kissing and -- I advise you not to read any further if you're easily offended -- dancing. On the count of three,

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-65731166004527279132009-03-10T01:01:00.004-05:002009-03-10T01:11:45.204-05:00

Finally, the rest of America is catching up to the gays in the really-fucking-sick-of-religious-zealots department. From a CNN report:America is a less Christian nation than it was 20 years ago, and Christianity is not losing out to other religions, but primarily to a rejection of religion altogether, a survey published Monday found.And why might that be? Mark Silk of Trinity College thinks it

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-4879003722622052852009-03-09T18:21:00.001-05:002009-03-09T18:21:42.127-05:00

Check out this article about Ruth Jacobi. (I have nothing rude to say about it, which doesn't happen very often.)

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-49979635797810327932009-03-09T12:48:00.003-05:002009-03-09T12:55:33.593-05:00

Pam Grier is prepared to defend herself against another Papi-centric story line."The L Word" was put of out of its misery last night after six seasons of unwavering mediocrity, and while I didn't see the finale (a few episodes into the shortened final season, when it became clear that the writers had again failed to come up with any kind of game plan, I bailed), some guy who did says it sucked.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-39949658716280107372009-03-07T13:32:00.002-06:002009-10-05T21:19:26.602-05:00

The kind of photo that causes my confusion.Why is it that every time I flip through a magazine and kind of half-glance at a picture of someone walking their dogs and think to myself "Now there's a guy I'd have sex with (if I had sex with guys)," it ends up being Jessica Biel?It happened to me earlier this week for what was probably the third time in two years, and it's starting to piss me off.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-28080861189754641952009-03-03T11:50:00.003-06:002009-03-03T12:05:20.186-06:00

And did she kill it before putting it there? I've never seen Jane Velez-Mitchell on CNN (or Headline News) before, but it would add to the excitement of the broadcast if there was always the possibility that her hair -- which appears to be a roadkill-inspired variation on the Carol Brady shag -- might get up and walk away. (That's the kind of suspense that keeps me watching Frank Cusumano's

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-82411935144358829902009-03-02T16:28:00.000-06:002009-03-02T16:28:01.220-06:00

"Shh... We don't want those men who are singing show tunes to know we're here."Take a look at this press release straight out of Uganda:Family Life Network and other stakeholders in Uganda have organized a three-day seminar to provide what they termed as reliable and up to date information so that people can know how to protect themselves, their children, families [sic] from homosexuality.What

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-65717056460849782922009-03-02T11:35:00.005-06:002009-03-02T12:09:50.705-06:00

Parents can be funny about "the gay." My mom and dad, for example, were fine with my coming out -- their only complaint was that I waited too long to tell them. (My parents, it should be noted, are insane: I came out to them when I was in high school. What was I supposed to do, celebrate my fifth-grade graduation by flinging the closet door open? It's not like I had a clue what was going on

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-22390781991366570952009-02-28T19:57:00.001-06:002009-02-28T20:00:13.289-06:00

"I met three men in a Tiki bar once in Texas who were married to each other."So said Chloë Sevigny in a recent Los Angeles Times interview with her "Big Love" costars Bill Paxton, Jeanne Tripplehorn and Ginnifer Goodwin. Here's the reaction to Sevigny's remark:[Silence]Paxton: Wow.Tripplehorn: That was a conversation stopper! What do you call that? Gay-lygapous? Gay-lygamy.Sevigny: They loved

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-20517044926657476622009-02-26T14:51:00.001-06:002009-02-26T14:51:00.405-06:00

More than usual, I mean. If so, read this. (Or you could just wait a few months for the inevitable "Law & Order" episode based on this particular crime to hit airwaves.)

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-68965361059460638242009-02-25T14:18:00.001-06:002009-02-25T14:18:00.397-06:00

I'm not a video game person (though I used to take down fierce opponents -- namely my mom and her best friend -- in matches of Tetris and Dr. Mario, and was known to break the occasional window in games of Paperboy), so everything I've heard about Xbox Live has come directly from my brother and his geeky pals.And what they've told me is that more than a few of their fellow gamers are hateful,

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-51140363407389459302009-02-23T10:04:00.003-06:002009-02-23T10:08:17.234-06:00

Boy, those musical numbers are really going to go a long way in making people think Hugh Jackman isn't gay, aren't they?(More later, possibly, if I don't fall asleep.)"What? Marisa Tomei for 'My Cousin Vinny?!'"UPDATE (10:04 AM Monday) - Holy Bob Hope, was that a boring night. Lots of predictable and undeserving winners, which was par for the course, but the producers didn't offer anything to

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-72157325466395945332009-02-22T14:35:00.004-06:002009-02-22T14:47:43.268-06:00

Awards are essentially meaningless, like almost everything else in life.Last year, as you might recall, I covered the Oscar telecast. I've been asked if I plan to do the same tonight, and the answer is probably not. I'm underwhelmed by a lot of this year's nominees and don't think it'd be much fun to write about them, though a last-minute change of mind is possible. (A last-minute change of mind

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-50501739809084129662009-02-20T16:24:00.003-06:002009-02-22T14:40:09.147-06:00

Who sits around and obsesses about "The Lesbian Kama Sutra" being on local library shelves? (Pretend that was said with an Austin Powers-esque "Who throws a shoe? Honestly!" tone of incredulity.) Concerned Topeka resident Kim Borchers, that's who. And in addition to her lurid fascination with flexible naked women having all kinds of bendy sex with each other, Borchers objected to her local

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-24256407218177939872009-02-19T09:00:00.003-06:002009-02-19T09:30:45.875-06:00

Remember Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary of the UK who made waves a few months ago when she basically told Iranian gays seeking asylum in the United Kingdom to piss off and stay closeted in their home country to avoid execution? She's attracting headlines again this week, and this time it's for something good: American hate-mongers and national embarrassments Fred and Shirley Phelps want to

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-76569589772801795752009-02-18T12:44:00.009-06:002009-02-23T11:00:11.281-06:00

It's been a while since we last flipped through the pages of British tabloids (one can only stomach so many stories about little boys who might be fathers; and previously reviled cancer-stricken reality TV stars who are contemplating dying on camera), but today I saw a headline I couldn't resist: "Gay City Roller."If you think you know where this is headed -- that a member of the Bay City Rollers

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-42978106181661153812009-02-16T14:59:00.001-06:002009-02-16T15:07:13.528-06:00

If anyone cares, CNN has taken time to recognize a monumentally important moment in the history of the fight for marriage equality crappy soap operas: Bianca "Daughter of Erica Kane" Montgomery's big fat lesbian wedding to some, uh, other lesbian. Enjoy it while you can, because I'm sure within the next few months it will be revealed that Bianca's wife is an alien or a guy who was cast out of

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-55885966804125927642009-02-14T22:34:00.004-06:002009-02-14T22:58:59.267-06:00

Those of you who remember the way I bitched about Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve might have expected me to write something dismissive or contemptuous of Valentine's Day. Dear reader (I love it when columnists write "dear reader;" it always sounds so cloying), I will not. For somewhere today, probably in the Deep South, a redneck hid a cubic zirconia engagement ring in a bucket of KFC Extra

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-76293360124934248842009-02-12T11:41:00.002-06:002009-02-12T11:47:11.376-06:00

Well, fine, I'd make an exception for Tony Manero.I don't know who the hell "charmingly loopy socialite" Arden Wohl is (Google says she likes the pot, but don't all charmingly loopy socialites?), but I'd like to thank her for cracking me up with her comments to The Observer about a short film she made that stars Azura Skye and Leelee Sobieski:In the dark, romantic fairy tale, the two women flirt,

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-66843289412140737792009-02-10T13:28:00.002-06:002009-02-10T13:32:55.579-06:00

ZDNet wants to know, "Are drunk Facebook photos killing your job prospects?" What I want to know is: How do Facebook photos get drunk? Unfortunately, the article (which regurgitates figures from surveys of HR people and job-seekers alike) doesn't provide any answers. Because it's stupid.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-76126802237619747872009-02-09T21:54:00.001-06:002009-02-09T22:16:52.902-06:00

The 91-year-old lesbian, who is working on a book about her life, had this to say about being gay in the 1940s and '50s (and way before that): "Everybody says what a terrible life it was, but I quite enjoyed myself. I didn't find it terrible. I was very proud." And she was wearing pants in public when it was still considered daring for a woman to do so, which just adds to her greatness.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-30366861144165318352009-02-07T17:25:00.001-06:002009-02-07T20:40:04.224-06:00

"What? You mean this is seriously the best Miramax could do?"How is it possible that "Velvet Goldmine," which first came out on DVD in the U.S. 10 years ago, hasn't been re-released with an anamorphically enhanced transfer? When I'm watching glam rockers played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Ewan McGregor paw at each other, it should go without saying that I want to see it in all its widescreen

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-5395385573979281312009-02-05T09:22:00.000-06:002009-02-05T09:22:08.434-06:00

A good interview by Ari Karpel. Sykes is mostly serious, like when she talks about her seven-year marriage to a man: "I actually made the choice to be straight as a kid," she says. "Early on I knew [being gay] wasn't gonna fly. No way. And from the teachers and church and all it was, This is wrong! What's wrong with me? And you

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-14945424663195670652009-02-03T20:00:00.003-06:002009-02-04T11:21:35.757-06:00

"Why on earth would anyone think I'm a lesbian?"My sister alerted me to this. I believe her exact words were "Kelly Clarkson says she isn't gay," followed by maniacal laughter. So there you have it: My sister thinks Ms. Clarkson's lying. As for Kelly herself, it's true that she recently told the web site PopEater she isn't gay. She added: "I could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-60553671565800366612009-02-03T13:35:00.000-06:002009-02-03T13:35:01.072-06:00

As if to make up for last month's ill-advised Ricardo Montalban marathon, Turner Classic Movies is showing "The More the Merrier" tonight as part of their 31 Days of Oscar: Urban Housing block of programming. Besides featuring one of Jean Arthur's best performances, this George Stevens comedy about the housing shortage in World War II boasts one of the most romantic scenes I've ever seen in any

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-54784332139225720202009-02-02T16:30:00.004-06:002009-02-02T20:24:58.845-06:00

A few days ago, someone asked if I'd wear Jeanne Moreau's veil again if Roger Federer lost to Rafael Nadal in Sunday's Australian Open final. The answer was maybe, depending on the match. The Wimbledon loss had been a heartbreaker and required a period of mourning. The Australian Open final turned out to be different. By the time it was over, Federer was crying like his name was Stella Dallas,

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-51353171874159274842009-01-31T13:50:00.002-06:002009-01-31T23:17:06.545-06:00

You might think this description of life in a lesbian community sounds like the work of David Sedaris -- I know I hoped it was -- but alas, it's a real article from the Times:BEHIND the gate at Alapine, about five miles from the nearest town in the southern Appalachian mountains near Georgia, the women live in simple houses or double-wide trailers on roads they have named after goddesses, like

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-86810200954364454832009-01-31T01:41:00.006-06:002009-01-31T23:09:40.128-06:00

Lady Gaga will revive this look any day now.ESPN2's live broadcast of the women's final of the Australian Open doesn't start until 3:30 a.m. ET, and having just finished listening to the audio commentary Diane Lane and Laura Dern provided for the DVD release of "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains" (who knew Diane Lane said "Bless" so much?), I'm running out of things to do in the meantime.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-81043454475616634622009-01-27T22:53:00.004-06:002009-01-27T23:09:47.512-06:00

Woody Allen and Tony Roberts never filmed a scene like this.Shame on you, Allan Stewart Konigsberg, for being so stingy with the Scarlett Johansson/Penélope Cruz scenes in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona." Don't get me wrong, the movie was good, your best since "Sweet and Lowdown." It's just that a lot of us are still upset about "Scoop" and "Cassandra's Dream," and you could have tried a little

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-48193628346603930892009-01-26T21:21:00.002-06:002009-01-26T21:25:45.170-06:00

Significant ice accumulation is expected in my neck of the woods tonight, which I'd normally welcome because I love horrible weather*, but I just saw "The Ice Storm" for the second time a few months ago when it was re-released on DVD and now I'm worried that my parents might be at a key party and my brother might accidentally drug Katie Holmes with sleeping pills intended for someone else.The

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-48914501587054749132009-01-25T17:10:00.011-06:002009-01-27T23:08:51.746-06:00

Mia Kirshner (on the set of "The Black Dahlia") tearfully asks God,"Why can't I catch a break?"Does anyone else find it a bit odd that the L.A. Times is questioning whether killing Jenny Schecter on "The L Word" will drive viewers away from the show? As much as I hate to defend any of the decisions made by the hackety-hacks (don't talk back!) who write for "The L Word" (assuming it isn't written

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-16769989732296967242009-01-25T02:52:00.002-06:002009-02-02T16:28:09.129-06:00

Because my nerves are going to need a day to recover from those Safina and Federer matches.(Yes, this was a paltry post, but I'm still too jittery to write anything else. Give me a few hours to calm down and sleep a little, and then I'll try to scrounge up something to complain about.)

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-22493119154614484612009-01-23T10:50:00.003-06:002009-01-24T20:17:04.086-06:00

TCM is inexplicably honoring terrible actor/"soft Corinthian leather" aficionado Ricardo Montalban with a seven-film tribute today. I fear this portends a full 24-hour block of William Shatner's greatest non-hits when he kicks the bucket. Hopefully Shatner's immortal and this will be a non-issue.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-57345487744585350012009-01-21T11:00:00.004-06:002009-01-21T15:49:24.484-06:00

What's next, saying these two were just friends?As Michael Abernethy notes when mentioning Addams' recent induction into the Chicago Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame: "That Addams was a lesbian is a matter of speculation, as Addams wasn't gracious enough to leave an entry in her diaries that said 'I'm a big ole lesbian.'" Still, I can't believe that in the year 2009 grown men and women continue to

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-47694417696270685852009-01-20T09:35:00.002-06:002009-01-20T12:25:25.103-06:00

From an interesting article written by Matt Kennard about ex-gays and ex-ex-gays:Randy Thomas, 39, is the executive vice president of Exodus and an ex-gay himself. "I became a Christian at 24, but I didn't come to Christ to not be gay," he said. "It was only after a few months, I realized I didn't have to be gay, so I decided to live according to my faith. That was 16 years ago." In the ex-gay

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-19696774702994681942009-01-19T08:41:00.000-06:002009-01-19T08:40:26.459-06:00

Reunited: The stars of "Double Indemnity,"minus Edward G. RobinsonCriterion will release a 2-disc edition of Douglas Sirk's "Magnificent Obsession" tomorrow, which is all well and good (it's been years since Criterion released "All That Heaven Allows" and "Written on the Wind"), but when is somebody -- anybody -- going to release "There's Always Tomorrow" on DVD? It's a Sirk film I've read

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-68183189657814503052009-01-18T15:35:00.001-06:002009-01-18T15:35:00.189-06:00

Who would have guessed there are still people who think Tintin is straight? British journalist Matthew Parris devoted a column to the character's sexuality earlier this month, making such a strong case for Tintin being a 'mo that more than a week later, people around the world are still talking about it. One paper, the Times of India, asked Tintin fans in Chennai to weigh in on the subject.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-90044266462248762492009-01-18T12:08:00.003-06:002009-02-02T16:28:20.670-06:00

"I hope my TiVo remembers to record the season premiere of 'The L Word.' "The Australian Open starts in five hours (the official website has a countdown clock), and I'm so excited about it that I feel like an honorary Pointer Sister. American viewers, here's the TV schedule. And readers, be warned: If Roger Federer makes an early exit, I'm going to be even crankier than usual. Enough so that the

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-86959262188142234682009-01-16T12:45:00.005-06:002009-01-18T14:09:21.765-06:00

The woman who inspired a thousand drag queens(and one irritable teenage lesbian)On this day in history three of the great American women of the last hundred years were born: Ethel Merman, Susan Sontag and yours truly. No need to send me a present, I don't want anything and hate having to feign enthusiasm when opening gifts anyway. But if you want to bake me a cake, that's fine. Just wash your

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-43157541974480012012009-01-15T19:03:00.006-06:002009-01-16T08:40:03.308-06:00

Black Mamba wields a mean HanzōDid any of you realize this lame-ass website turned one year old earlier this month? I'd forgotten all about it until I saw an ad for "The L Word" the other day (its reign of ridiculousness is almost over; an abbreviated final season starts on Sunday) and remembered that I'd started this blog in January of last year with the intention of using it to complain about

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-9464119671363646622009-01-15T12:46:00.000-06:002009-01-15T12:46:00.366-06:00

Kudos, fellow St. Louisans, on continuing to infect each other with gonorrhea and chlamydia at rates the rest of the country just can't keep up with! And let's not get too self-congratulatory about the news that these most recent numbers are down 500 total cases from 2006 just yet; all it means is we're running out of people to infect locally and soon we'll have to cross the river on the weekends

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-57973610472884425482009-01-14T16:52:00.001-06:002009-01-14T16:52:09.158-06:00

I know you've all been busy with the not being gay in Senegal thing, so I hate to add more to your plate, but this is very important: Make sure you don't set your ex on fire. And make sure you're not set on fire by your ex. It might not seem like it in the heat of the moment, but there are better, less criminal ways of expressing yourself. (Personally, I'm more the silent treatment type, but

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-23501435070856489352009-01-13T21:10:00.001-06:002009-01-13T21:12:21.970-06:00

Eva Mendes silently wonders, "What did Meg do to her face?!"O.K., so the movie isn't particularly good. But it isn't as bad as many critics made it out to be, mostly because Annette Bening and Jada Pinkett Smith can make anything watchable. It isn't something I'd recommend to everybody, but for a certain segment of its potential audience (and by certain I mean lecherous) ... well, I think the

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-29749793985004672912009-01-10T23:51:00.003-06:002009-01-14T16:55:06.381-06:00

From a story MSNBC picked up about another marriage equality march that was held this weekend in California, in which the obligatory quote from a gay rights activist who wants the Defense of Marriage Act repealed is followed by the obligatory quote from a total moron:"The homosexuals and lesbians want equal rights. They don't deserve equality," passerby Tony Sottile said.Good job, Tony. I'm sure

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-24943360647544036682009-01-09T13:31:00.004-06:002009-01-09T13:34:13.306-06:00

Engaging in homosexual acts in Senegal can get you eight years in the hoosegow. Which brings us to two questions that I'll now pose in no particular order: Why does the word "hoosegow" only appear on approximately 71,100 web pages (per Google, and if you remove the quotes the number is an only slightly more respectable 77,000)? "Hoosegow" deserves more love than that.And what constitutes a

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-82248465048823476412009-01-04T17:51:00.002-06:002009-01-04T17:57:40.728-06:00

Rachel Griffiths and Toni Collette ABBA it up in "Muriel's Wedding"Celesbianism was not the buzzword of 2008, and don't let the Australians, who spend all their time shoplifting and listening to ABBA records*, tell you otherwise. The "celesbianism" movement is as dumb as the "gayelle" revolution. If we have to talk about this subsection of the gay community at all, let's stick to fauxmosexual,

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-28918705765839920712009-01-03T11:15:00.003-06:002009-01-03T13:44:12.170-06:00

Hurt, all dolled up with no place to go, in "Kiss of the Spider Woman"Who knew William Hurt was so gabby? (Or that he calls Glenn Close "Glennie"?) He's been one of my favorite actors since the first time I saw "Body Heat" on TV as a kid, but I had no idea the guy talked this much -- or that he has a role on the upcoming second season of the FX show "Damages." When Dave Itzkoff of the Times

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-86660035406289397842009-01-02T16:13:00.002-06:002009-01-02T16:24:28.542-06:00

The characters in "Maurice" tried to fight their gay "temptations,"and we all know how that turned out.I kept waiting for this article to take an Onion-esque turn, but ... no. I mean, WTF? Is it really considered newsworthy when a "religious gay man" promotes celibacy in an article that was posted to his personal blog after it was rejected for publication elsewhere? I don't know what made my head

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-12020012980497264152009-01-01T20:31:00.002-06:002009-01-01T20:37:46.569-06:00

And much like Death Cab for Cutie's navel-gazing, flannel-clad frontman Ben Gibbard, I don't feel any different. My height, my weight, my sour disposition, they're all exactly the same now as they were at 11:59 p.m. last night. (And it's a good thing, too, because I'd hate to have to update my wardrobe or start being pleasant to people just because it's 2009.)Or has the new year changed me

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-44521660619649916352008-12-31T15:28:00.000-06:002008-12-31T15:28:03.337-06:00

Sibel Kekilli tries to stop Birol Ünel's bleeding in "Head On"I could take this opportunity to mention that, being a consummate fuddy-duddy, I've never understood why people get so excited about ringing in the new year -- they do realize that nothing has changed and they're all still going to die, don't they? -- but instead I'll just be nice and brief and wish you all a happy New Year and remind

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-12298055685181235832008-12-28T13:45:00.001-06:002008-12-28T13:48:46.365-06:00

"Why are those young women water-skiing in tutus?"What the hell are people supposed to do when they're on vacation? I'm several days into an almost two-week vacation and I've already run out of ideas. I decided against traveling, opting to save money instead, and the only things I told myself I had to do over the next two weeks were sleep late and re-watch the Todd Haynes film "Far From Heaven,"

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-10338014633251372502008-12-22T09:45:00.000-06:002008-12-22T09:45:22.895-06:00

And so are most Tuesdays and Wednesdays, come to think of it. Thursdays are different. Thursday is the most perfect of all the days of the week because it means Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday are over, but you still have Friday and Saturday and Sunday to look forward to. What's not to like about that?Looking forward to the weekend is, at least in my experience, sometimes better than the weekend

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-46963729278285615272008-12-16T00:45:00.015-06:002008-12-20T00:52:44.811-06:00

Tina Turner or professional bodybuilder?How did Holly Hunter win the Best Actress Oscar over Angela Bassett in 1993? It's not that I'm surprised the Academy made the wrong decision, because the Academy makes the wrong decisions all the time. It's more that I'm surprised they'd collectively risk pissing Bassett off. Because, well, look at those arms. One shot of her in a skimpy dress in "What's

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-7854340464591965782008-12-12T23:30:00.001-06:002008-12-12T23:30:55.479-06:00

If the New York Times is going to pretend the newly dead actor Van Johnson was heterosexual, how can I believe what they write about anything else?(As a bonus, here's a link to an old magazine cover with Johnson looking not unlike Cynthia Nixon's partner.)

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-15808849141801435362008-12-10T00:31:00.003-06:002008-12-10T23:01:15.777-06:00

Will Rod Blagojevich overact in court as much as Treat Williams did in this movie?Disgraced Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich's hair has been troubling me for years now, but I've never had a reason to post about it -- until today, when his corruption became a national news story. As a St. Louisan, I've seen Blagojevich on the local news almost nightly for many years now (once they've covered all

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-39455344103533797992008-12-04T23:19:00.000-06:002008-12-04T23:19:01.166-06:00

For no reason whatsoever, Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters dancing in The JerkNeither did an evil fetus, if you thought that was a possibility. I've just been busy lately, as everyone is this time of year, and unfortunately (or perhaps very fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it has kept me from posting all manner of nonsense here.You can imagine the mental anguish this caused when,

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-70686596365285521692008-11-28T20:14:00.007-06:002008-12-05T00:37:49.950-06:00

Babies aren't always so cute and cuddly.The title of this post is, of course, a quote from "Hamlet." I think the whole thing goes:Parades or killer fetuses, that is the question;Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The murderous unborn in films produced by Roger Corman, Or to watch a giant inflatable Snoopy take over the streets of New YorkBoth are almost equally pointless, and will make you

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-74708577592011198082008-11-25T00:47:00.002-06:002008-12-05T00:41:03.093-06:00

So that's where all the gay leading men are.Mark Caro of the Chicago Tribune wonders why there are no openly gay leading men in Hollywood. (For my part, I wondered why Mark Caro was asking such a silly question until I saw the accompanying promotional still from Milk.) There aren't any openly gay leading ladies in Hollywood, either, but never mind that; the answer to Caro's question is simple --

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-52798396178908765242008-11-23T23:37:00.002-06:002008-11-23T23:41:48.018-06:00

My Pacino cop of choice -- one who doesn't kill gay people.I threw in the "sorta" because, let's be honest, a lot of this brief interview Salon's Andrew O'Hehir conducted with Boys in the Band director William Friedkin is simply O'Hehir (also known as O'Hewho, because Stephanie Zacharek is the only Salon critic anyone reads now that Charles Taylor is gone) kissing Friedkin's ass.O'Hehir, I'll

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-56079845512273243162008-11-22T22:42:00.001-06:002008-11-22T22:43:14.131-06:00

From Maureen Dowd's Sunday column about gay marriage (and Harvey Milk):I e-mailed Larry Kramer, the leading activist for gay rights in the era that followed Milk's, to get his read on Prop 8. (In 1983, I interviewed Kramer about the new scourge of AIDS, and he read me a list from a green notebook of 37 friends who had died. )"DON'T WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE RIGHTS?" he e-mailed back, blessedly

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-63061709843553043252008-11-22T21:01:00.000-06:002008-11-22T21:01:00.435-06:00

Being a huge bitch myself (just ask anyone who knows me!), I'd have preferred something nastier -- maybe a dig at Newt's three marriages, two divorces, history of infidelity, or the way he treated his first wife when she was battling uterine cancer -- but she sums things up nicely at the end when she writes:What really worries me is that you are always willing to use LGBT Americans as political

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-51837082794164089482008-11-20T21:51:00.002-06:002008-11-20T21:57:09.440-06:00

Because I feel bad about not posting anything today (in addition to not posting anything of substance yesterday, or practically any day since starting this blog), here's a picture of a monkey crashing a party in the old Warner Brothers comedy Lady Killer:Isn't that awesome? The movie, one of five starring James Cagney to be released in 1933, would be pretty humdrum if not for the monkeys gone

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-4923032231674622712008-11-19T14:59:00.001-06:002009-09-21T12:09:04.635-05:00

But it appears they still want us to keep our distance from the mother ship, and will instead be directing us to our own special gay site from which our homo cooties can't infect all the normal, healthy heterosexual customers who are seeking opposite-sex partners for Bible-approved, procreation-oriented, missionary-positioned hookups within the miserable bounds of traditional man-woman holy

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-12209514881673977492008-11-19T06:00:00.000-06:002008-11-19T06:00:01.386-06:00

One of the only Hitchcock films that bores me to tears.This kind of stuff freaks me out. Jason Jones, a 26-year-old forklift operator, was arrested in May for the shooting death of a government witness in a drug case. Jones maintained his innocence and offered investigators an easy way to verify his alibi: they could check his MetroCard history to see where he'd been on the night of the murder.

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-37566556632306241412008-11-18T22:15:00.002-06:002008-12-05T00:42:56.360-06:00

When money is tight and Elton John needs to spend another $40,000 on flowers,he simply finds a new pot of gold to raid.At least that's what I gleaned from these survey results about straights and gays of both genders and how they're reacting to the economy going down the drain. And, hey, as long as they can afford it, good for them! Stimulating the economy is a dirty job (someone like Michael

The Cranky Lesbianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08438910239727453421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5517287724519699700.post-65642347764164324422008-11-18T18:55:00.001-06:002008-11-18T23:18:23.893-06:00

TV critic Andrew Wallenstein's commentary on Dr. Hahn's departure from Grey's Anatomy is one of the best I've heard so far, and you can now listen to it in its entirety on the NPR website. He starts off by addressing the issue that has bothered me the most about the firing of actress Brooke Smith -- namely, that it doesn't make sense for a show that is overrun with one-dimensional characters

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