Sunday, July 12, 2009

Shock of Shocks: Another Boy Band Member Comes Out

Duncan James of the British band Blue has come out as bisexual (warning: the link will take you to a trashy UK tabloid website that will hurt your eyes and possibly your intellect), and the best part of any boy band member coming out is always reading the comments his borderline illiterate fans make online afterward, so let's sample some of the reaction to his announcement:
"this news is brill!!!!"

"NO, NOT DUNCAN!!! I loved him, OMG! I was a huge fan! What i can say? It shouldn't be this way. What is happening? I don't think being Bi is a good thing...."

"no such thing as bisexual. you smoke a pipe - youre gay. end of!"*

"It was SO obvious!!!"

"Well as Duncan is always walking up and down Compton Street in London's gay village, there was no shock to this news."

"absolute filth. You should be locked up for putting women at risk from your dirty sordid antics. mind you, you would probably enjoy dropping the soap in the showers!!! disgusting human being"

"you seem like a top bloke mate that's all that matters well done for being brave and talking about it good luck" [Cranky note: Well, we know that comment was the work of a heterosexual, because there's no way 'a gay' would be able to call James a top anything with a straight face.]
Overall, there were lots of "Duh!" responses, which makes a modicum of sense if you're familiar with the hair and posture (more pictures here) of this particular boy bander. Honestly, I found the reactions to be disappointing, perhaps because Blue hasn't been relevant for years. What I'd really like to happen in the near future, just to see if the Internet can withstand it, is for a current heartthrob with mass tween and teen appeal -- a Daniel Radcliffe or Robert Pattinson -- to come screaming out of the closet. If that could be timed for December, it would make for the greatest holiday season ever.

*Presumably that doesn't apply to lesbians.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Obligatory "OMFG, Federer!" Post

Back in May*, I asked if eight greater words than "Federer stuns clay king Nadal in Madrid final" had been written all year. That's a distant memory now, with the French Open in the rearview mirror, and this evening I saw a ten-word proclamation that must certainly qualify as the best headline I've read all year (other than "Palin Resigns"): "Roger Federer confirms he is greatest ever in wonderful finale." So to my father, who has been antagonizing me since Federer's bout with mono last year by saying at the start of every tournament that his best playing days are behind him: Suck it.

* I know, I know, what happened to June? Your guess is as good as mine.

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