Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Anyway, writer Michael Thornton wants everyone to know that Gielgud was a dirty birdy (TM Misery) who liked younger men, didn't practice monogamy (is that like practicing the clarinet -- the longer you do it, the better you get?), and (presumably) whacked it to pictures of a nude Iggy Pop. And then told Judi Dench about it. Or something. I lost interest a few paragraphs in and moseyed over to ESPN.com to check out the draw for the U.S. Open; Roger and Rafa are on opposite sides, but I wouldn't be surprised if one of them doesn't make it to the final. Hopefully Nadal's knees will hold up, as I like what he'll be wearing this year and would rather see it than the bland ensembles most of his competitors sport...
(Yes, my thought process is a bit muddled today, but I swear it isn't my fault.)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
"this news is brill!!!!"Overall, there were lots of "Duh!" responses, which makes a modicum of sense if you're familiar with the hair and posture (more pictures here) of this particular boy bander. Honestly, I found the reactions to be disappointing, perhaps because Blue hasn't been relevant for years. What I'd really like to happen in the near future, just to see if the Internet can withstand it, is for a current heartthrob with mass tween and teen appeal -- a Daniel Radcliffe or Robert Pattinson -- to come screaming out of the closet. If that could be timed for December, it would make for the greatest holiday season ever.
"NO, NOT DUNCAN!!! I loved him, OMG! I was a huge fan! What i can say? It shouldn't be this way. What is happening? I don't think being Bi is a good thing...."
"no such thing as bisexual. you smoke a pipe - youre gay. end of!"*
"It was SO obvious!!!"
"Well as Duncan is always walking up and down Compton Street in London's gay village, there was no shock to this news."
"absolute filth. You should be locked up for putting women at risk from your dirty sordid antics. mind you, you would probably enjoy dropping the soap in the showers!!! disgusting human being"
"you seem like a top bloke mate that's all that matters well done for being brave and talking about it good luck" [Cranky note: Well, we know that comment was the work of a heterosexual, because there's no way 'a gay' would be able to call James a top anything with a straight face.]
*Presumably that doesn't apply to lesbians.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
* I know, I know, what happened to June? Your guess is as good as mine.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
And to anyone reading this who's also a mom, provided you're not the kind that gets calls from Child Protective Services, Happy Mother's Day to you, too.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
While this might seem mildly interesting on the surface -- Ooh, heterosexuals trust the gays not to corrupt their children! -- I think it's important to remember that Jennifer Aniston has kissed women on TV (and appeared in a Melissa Etheridge music video) and is way too obsessed with her hair not to travel everywhere with at least one gay man; Angelina Jolie is rather famously bisexual; and there's no way that Oprah (whose South African school for girls is apparently a hotbed of sinister 1950's-style predatory lesbianism, let us not forget) and Gayle aren't conducting revealing interviews with each other's genitalia when they have their famous Stedman-free sleepovers. In other words, those kids are gonna be around some degree of "the gay" regardless of who watches them.
(For the record, while I don't have real children yet, my girlfriend and I have an imaginary son that I wouldn't be opposed to letting DeGeneres and de Rossi babysit, but only if they promised not to pass him off to Ellen's hairstylist's family, à la lggy.)
* The Reuters website has been a bit unreliable for me today; if it doesn't work for you, freakin' Google the goddamn story. Don't be lazy!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
But Puddicombe, who made similarly goopy declarations of love in a Valentine's Day card she gave to Pechaluk three years ago, also had a long-term boyfriend. How, then, could Pechaluk enjoy life with Puddicombe at her side? Why, by reinforcing every horribly offensive and antiquated lesbian stereotype known to man and murdering Puddicombe's boyfriend with a $16.49 axe, of course! Pechaluk's trial for the 2006 killing began this week, with Puddicombe's soon to follow; Puddicombe stood to collect $250,000 in insurance and pension payouts in the event of her boyfriend's death. Both women, it should go without saying, deserve to rot in jail.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Sophie (Brooke Vincent) shatters her new born-again Christian image by dumping her boyfriend to romp with a girl member of her bible study group.
The tearaway stunned parents Sally and Kevin when she told them she was turning over a new leaf by turning to God.
I'll admit, that made me laugh; if nothing else, it's bound to make for lighter viewing than "For the Bible Tells Me So."
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
a child with a lesbian in "Manhattan" and had a hard time dealing with it.
Have you ever wondered why there are often ads for find-a-sperm-donor services on this, a website that has nothing to do with wanting, having or raising babies? (Not that I have anything against babies. They're cute and some of them have a weird way of looking like tiny little elderly people that I find amusing, but they also baffle me. In a lot of ways, they're like women: I have no idea why they're crying, and they've been known to unexpectedly throw up on me.) It's a question that's been weighing on my mind since earlier this afternoon, when I glanced at my post about "A Secret" to make sure I hadn't made any glaring typographical mistakes and noticed an advertisement beneath it that said "Find a Sperm Donor Today -- Serving Lesbian Couples & Singles."
I ask you, women and queens who read this, how effective can these ads really be? What are the odds that someone who comes here to read about "Daphne" is going to glance down at the screen, see that kind of banner, and think to herself "What a great idea! I hadn't planned on having a baby -- I'd only wanted to know if this movie was worth renting -- but now I know where my tax refund is going!" Really, if the idea is to target ads to a particular demographic, I think they'd be better off hocking "Mommie Dearest" DVDs and curling brooms here (yes, Canadian readers, I see you out there), but that's just a hunch.
But one of its characters is a lesbian, which I hadn't seen mentioned in any of the reviews I read prior to renting it, so I thought I'd mention it here for those of you who keep tabs on these things. That character, Louise (played winningly by Julie Depardieu), a massage therapist and long-time friend of François' family, is in some ways the emotional heart of the film: It is Louise, not his mother, who François runs to for comfort in times of distress, and it is Louise who eventually answers his questions about the past.
Not much is made of her orientation, which is first hinted at when a 7-year-old François asks why she doesn't have a husband and her response suggests she'd simply have no use for one; in a later scene that serves no purpose other than to illustrate that she does have a personal life, she greets a smiling female acquaintance on the street and leads her into her apartment. (She also, in a minor but noticeable touch, sometimes wears pants while the women around her are in dresses.) Louise's defining moment comes during a heated exchange with Esther, a character who believes the husband of a woman who was taken away by the Germans is cheating on his absent wife:
Esther: Doesn't it make you sick?Louise is able to calm Esther; her gentleness and pragmatism has that effect on everyone. She is an interesting supporting character who would have been even more interesting in a better movie.
Louise: I've seen worse.
Esther: You say that because you also...
Louise: Go on, say it. I also think Tania's desirable? It's true. She's beautiful and desirable.
Esther: So you excuse them?
Louise: No, I just don't judge them.
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Australian is now reporting that "Since the lesbian story-line began two weeks ago, 100,000 viewers have turned off and complaints have been flooding in," prompting producers to edit the kiss, which was reportedly "no more intimate than any kiss shared by a heterosexual couple" on the show, to make it less explicit. You'd think concerned parents in Australia would have bigger things to worry about than a simple TV lip-lock, but maybe that's part of the problem -- they're too busy watching TV and bitching about 'the gays' to make sure their kids aren't depressed or pregnant. (It's almost like they think they're Americans...)
UPDATED (04/01/09) - For some reason it's making headlines that the controversy-stirring kiss in question aired on "Home and Away" in Australia on Tuesday as planned. I'm not quite sure what all the hullabaloo is about, as you'll recall that the original report never said the kiss was being scrapped altogether, just that "some of the more intimate close-up images of policewoman Charlie Buckton and deckhand Joey Collins sharing a passionate kiss" would be cut. That fits with what network honcho Bevan Lee had to say about the episode; from the Telegraph article linked to above: "'Home and Away' bosses had decided to air the first, more gentle kiss, without the 'more lusty' follow up because it fitted better with the storyline."
In other words, this isn't much of a victory: it's exactly what we were told was going to happen back when this first made news, even if Lee maintains the decision to show a tamer kiss was merely "artistic" in nature.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
CHAIRMAN of the Jamaica Cancer Society, Earl Jarrett, has raised concerns that the fear of being labelled homosexuals is causing some Jamaican men to shy away from doing prostate examinations, resulting in the country maintaining the record of having one of the highest prostate cancer rates in the world.Or, as Jarrett recently explained to Rotary Club members in New Kingston: "In 2009, there is no reason why Jamaican men should still be of the view that to have a digital rectal examination is an indication of some homosexuality. There is no reason why we should allow the homophobia to get to the stage where it impacts on our health."
The last time my mom had a mammogram she came home with a mug that bore the name of the center she visited and some kind of inspirational slogan; maybe in Jamaica they could pass out complimentary shirts that say, "I had a digital rectal examination in a non-homosexual kind of way and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Lee Badgett, a co-author of the study, points out that gay families are at a financial disadvantage because they're denied Social Security survivor benefits and are also, in many cases, denied the same health insurance coverage as their married heterosexual counterparts; Robert Rector of the Heritage Foundation -- they're idiots, if you aren't familiar with them -- has already called the study "garbage." Here's what anonymous jackasses on the Internet have to say about it:
"Dumb article, same sex couples could not have kids."And of course, there's also a comedian:
"Really, that's what makes people poor? Because there is no one or government program to pick up the slack for them? It's amazing that single people can make it at all, if that is true."
"Who would have figured that having a father and a mother who honor marital covenants makes any difference with their children. I guess that is why it is called a family."
"And this is news? USATODAY will print anything to take the spot light off Obama and his failed policys."
"Actually it is impossible for same sex parents to have children, at least in the conventional sense. To state something like this without at least qualifying it shows poor understanding at best."
"People can print this story and use it in their bathrooms to wipe with. I usually have respect for USAToday, but this story has no backbone or validity."
"Poverty is the least of the problems these kids have. Growing up in a homosexual environment is the worst possible scenario for a child. Allowing gays to adopt children is a huge error in judgement by the courts and state legislatures."
"I think they would have more money if they didn't eat out so much.....I couldn't resist saying that."
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Her unlikely popularity is also redefining stereotypes of youth celebrity in Argentina. Ms. Vivero, who is openly gay, describes herself and other floggers as "androgynous" for their unisex clothing. She is comfortable with not being model-thin, eschewing dieting and boasting of her love of junk food and chocolate — a different message in a country where women have high rates of eating disorders.
"We are breaking a lot of barriers," she said.
That's pretty kick-ass, is it not?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A group called Pro-Family Perspectives is doing just that; their director has been quoted as saying, "The plot lines that young kids and teenagers should be presented with should be about really authentic relationships that are not just sexualised." Whether that means they disapprove of homosexuality or they're merely opposed to the idea of a lesbian relationship being used as a possible ratings stunt, I couldn't tell you. In any event, there's been little sign of widespread public outrage yet, maybe because parents have viewed their own teenagers' MySpace pages and are smart enough to realize that their kids won't be seeing anything on "Home and Away" that they haven't already taken countless pictures of their drunken friends doing at parties.
America is a less Christian nation than it was 20 years ago, and Christianity is not losing out to other religions, but primarily to a rejection of religion altogether, a survey published Monday found.And why might that be? Mark Silk of Trinity College thinks it could have something to do with evangelical crazies scaring the bejesus out of everyone. Again from the CNN article:
"In the 1990s, it really sunk in on the American public generally that there was a long-lasting 'religious right' connected to a political party, and that turned a lot of people the other way," [Silk] said of the link between the Republican Party and groups such as the Moral Majority and Focus on the Family.I find it hard to believe that Americans have started to tire of waking up early on Sunday mornings to listen to kooky pastors like Rev. Willie Wilson rant and rave, in graphic detail, about the nuts and bolts (or nuts and screws, as he puts it) of Very Important Subjects like gay sex. But there are lots of things I've never understood about Americans -- everything from how we made REO Speedwagon popular to why we allowed Alan Alda to become so self-important -- so there's really nothing new there.
"In an earlier time, people who would have been content to say, 'Well, I'm some kind of a Protestant,' now say 'Hell no, I won't go,'" he told CNN.
Monday, March 9, 2009
"The L Word" was put of out of its misery last night after six seasons of unwavering mediocrity, and while I didn't see the finale (a few episodes into the shortened final season, when it became clear that the writers had again failed to come up with any kind of game plan, I bailed), some guy who did says it sucked. He misspelled Pam Grier's name in his review, by the way, so I'm not quite sure that he can be trusted, but ... Oh, who am I kidding? There's no way in hell the finale wasn't every bit as terrible as all the episodes that preceded it. And if you're looking for a second opinion, Entertainment Weekly's Nicholas Fonseca agrees the big denouement left something to be desired, but ends things on a more philosophical note, writing:
But years from now, will it even matter how the show went out in its final hour? It was really the other 69 episodes that made The L Word a TV milestone.If by that he means a milestone in unbridled -- and unrivaled -- awfulness, then I agree. But Fonseca continues:
As the retrospective that aired beforehand reminded us, its impact expands far beyond its barrier-busting stories: TV's first deaf lesbian, its first regularly occurring transsexual character, bisexuals of both genders, drag kings, the US military's don't-ask-don't-tell policy, biracial identity, gay parenting, sex/drug/alcohol/gambling addiction, sexual abuse, midlife sexual awakenings, breast cancer...this show took on a lot. Judging by the frequent erraticism of its storytelling, it probably took on too much. In the end, I say, thank goodness it had the guts to take them on at all.My thoughts are slightly different. Maybe, on occasion, when you know you're failing miserably at something, you have to stop trying to do it. I know that's the kind of crazy notion that runs contrary to everything the entertainment industry normally believes in (after all, these are the same brain trusts who thought Freddie Prinze Jr. was a good idea in the '90s), but can you honestly say that "The L Word" was successful in its handling of any of those issues?
It didn't entirely botch the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' story line (which was less effective than it would have been had viewers been given more reasons to care about Tasha, the new character who was the focus of the subplot), and no missteps were made with issues of biracial identity, but the failures of all those other story lines were pretty massive. What "The L Word" did best was frivolity and froth, and even those episodes (which were mostly the work of writer-director Angela Robinson and not Ilene Chaiken, the show's demented creator and resident peddler of overpriced "L-Word"-themed jewelry) were few and far between.
Altogether, this is a series that will be remembered for two things: having a bunch of lesbian characters (which is good) and inspiring eight trillion shitty YouTube fan-edited clips of C-list actresses making out with each other while Sarah McLachlan wails in the background (which is bad). Call it a draw.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Why is it that every time I flip through a magazine and kind of half-glance at a picture of someone walking their dogs and think to myself "Now there's a guy I'd have sex with (if I had sex with guys)," it ends up being Jessica Biel?
It happened to me earlier this week for what was probably the third time in two years, and it's starting to piss me off. What is wrong with my head (on second thought, don't answer that) that it can't remember that broad shoulders, muscular arms and macho posture almost always equal Jessica Biel? Perhaps more importantly, what is wrong with me that I don't bother looking at someone for more than a nanosecond before I consider having sex with them? We already knew I was something of a whore when it comes to film noir actresses, but to think that it has now extended to a former star of "7th Heaven" who is best known for dating the "Dick in a Box" guy is kind of depressing.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The most important parts of yesterday's New York Times profile of Velez-Mitchell were the following:
Jane Velez-Mitchell is a true-crime author, a television talking head, a lesbian, an animal activist, a recovering alcoholic and a vegan.and...
Ms. Velez-Mitchell's hour of water-cooler talk, delivered with heavy doses of opinion, reached an average of 596,000 viewers in February, up 74 percent from the slot's average for the same month last year, when the conservative commentator Glenn Beck was the host.That's fantastic, isn't it, when HLN viewers prefer a lesbian vegan/animal activist to the insufferable Glenn Beck? The only thing I don't understand is why the Times had to point out that she's a recovering alcoholic: I'm pretty sure that "true-crime author" is a euphemism for that, so it was a little redundant.
P.S. If I ever get a gig on CNN, I plan on either wearing a clown wig or a Tina Turner circa "Private Dancer" wig on-air. Actually, who needs CNN as an excuse? I'm going to wear a rainbow-colored clown 'fro all day tomorrow just for the hell of it.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Family Life Network and other stakeholders in Uganda have organized a three-day seminar to provide what they termed as reliable and up to date information so that people can know how to protect themselves, their children, families [sic] from homosexuality.What kind of protective "how to keep your kids away from the evil gay agenda" measures do you think the Family Life Network will advocate at this seminar? I hope parents are encouraged to take a page from Jodie Foster's book and build a panic room. The joke would go right over their heads, of course, but you'd have to assume that happens with some regularity when you're dealing with people who feel compelled to defend themselves against homosexuality. Which reminds me: I saw an obscure Bela Lugosi movie on TCM last October -- they played it in the middle of the night, after yet another screening of "White Zombie" -- that suggested garlic will do the trick.
But even though they've adopted this "Give me a G, give me an A, give me a Y!" rah-rah attitude, voting for pro-gay politicians and seeing "Brokeback Mountain" in theaters (which was good because it meant my dad had to watch guys make out, but bad because he doesn't seem to realize now that not all gay people are tortured ranch hands from Wyoming), they still use a few phrases that make me cringe. The most popular one is "We just want you to be happy."
Shouldn't that go without saying, that your parents want you to be happy? How often do parents, even really poor excuses for parents, tell their children, "We want you to be unhappy. Seriously, Tim, we've never liked you. We're not even indifferent to your happiness. We hate you so much that every Wednesday and Saturday, right after we pray to win the Powerball jackpot, we ask God and Jesus and your dear departed grandpa up in heaven to make sure your life is full of heartache and misery."
And what about this one: "It's just that it's such a hard life." What the hell are the people who say that talking about? What is so hard about being a gay adult in the United States in the year 2009? Fine, so the world is full of homophobes. The world is also full of racists and sexists and anti-Semites, yet not once has anyone ever sat me down and said, "You know that I love you and accept you, and that I've never had a problem with you being a girl. It's just that I worry about you. It's such a hard life, having to sit when you pee and not being guaranteed the right to vote until 1920."
When my dad hauls out the old "such a hard life" chestnut, I have to take a deep breath to keep from snapping, "Having cancer is hard. Learning to use a prosthetic leg is hard. Living in dire poverty is hard. Being transfixed by Eva Mendes's ass? Not hard. I'm not complaining."
But there's something else I won't complain about from now on: My dad. Because over the weekend I read something in The Irish Independent that put all his hand-wringing in perspective. Behold, the parents who are "devastated because our only son says he's homosexual." The mother's hysterical letter to an advice columnist includes passages like:
I have prayed until I am sick. My husband is on medication for high blood pressure, is severely stressed all the time, and cannot sleep. He says "never a day goes by that I don't cry". What a waste.
I am distressed, crying bitterly, and full of guilty questions like where did we go wrong. What did we do, or fail to do? I cannot close my eyes at night without crying out loud and wondering and worrying about him. How can we relieve this situation?
We have not discussed the issue with friends, although some close relations are aware of it. We feel we have to sell our small business and move away from here. I don't think I can bear this any longer. Yes, we think of the anguish our son must have gone through/must still be going through, his loneliness and isolation. Yet he is happy to visit gay clubs and meet with other men.
What are the odds that all the "anguish" her son is going through has more to do with having nutcase parents than liking gay porn? (She mentions porn in the full letter.) And what does she think selling her business and moving is going to accomplish? She's still going to know her son's a big 'mo regardless of where she lives. And her husband! His blood pressure's through the roof, he can't stop crying... He sounds a little queeny himself, the way he's thriving on all the drama. If I were the hugging type, I'd hug both of my parents today. And once the shock subsided and they asked what it was for, I'd say, "For not being fuckheads." Warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
So said Chloë Sevigny in a recent Los Angeles Times interview with her "Big Love" costars Bill Paxton, Jeanne Tripplehorn and Ginnifer Goodwin. Here's the reaction to Sevigny's remark:
[Silence]As well they should! By the way, for anyone who has ever asked him or herself "Gee, I wonder what Bill Paxton thinks about gay marriage," you get your answer here. In response to a question about the Mormon campaign to pass Proposition 8, Paxton says: "I just feel like, God, live and let live. As long as somebody's not trying to make me live a certain way, or people are consenting adults, I have no problem with it. But I'm a libertine and a liberal."
Tripplehorn: That was a conversation stopper! What do you call that? Gay-lygapous? Gay-lygamy.
Sevigny: They loved the show.
So there you have it -- the guy from "Twister" (and my personal favorite "Apollo 13" astronaut) supports your right to get gay-married. No word on whether the stars of "Volcano," "Dante's Peak" and every other disaster movie Hollywood hurled at us post-"Twister" are of similar minds.
P.S. As a parting bonus, here's a kind of gross clip of Jeanne Tripplehorn making out with Salma Hayek in "Time Code." (For those of you who haven't seen it, it's an experimental film in which four story lines are followed by four different cameras simultaneously and in real time with no edits; the audio you hear in the YouTube clip belongs to the action taking place in another quadrant of the screen the YouTuber didn't bother showing. Tripplehorn plays a typical nutty lesbian character in the movie, which was oddly appropriate given her involvement in "Basic Instinct.") If you prefer the retro butch look, you can check out Chloë Sevigny in "If These Walls Could Talk 2." A few of the search results will probably be age-restricted, but some of you pervs might like that.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
And what they've told me is that more than a few of their fellow gamers are hateful, foul-mouthed bastards with a fondness for anti-gay slurs. All of which adds to my confusion about Microsoft's purported practice of suspending users who identify themselves as gay in their player profiles. Why is the word "gay" considered offensive when it's used by a gay person, but acceptable when employed by trolls as an insult? And if Microsoft isn't willing to give the gays a break here, what code word should they use to get the point across without risking a suspension? I tried to come up with something all smart-assy, but I'm stumped.
Monday, February 23, 2009
(More later, possibly, if I don't fall asleep.)
UPDATE (10:04 AM Monday) - Holy Bob Hope, was that a boring night. Lots of predictable and undeserving winners, which was par for the course, but the producers didn't offer anything to make up for it. And most of the speeches were so scripted and awful (still, anytime Penélope Cruz wants to hook up with me, I'm free -- and if I'm not, I can get that way in two seconds flat), with the exception of Dustin Lance Black's, which was the best and most moving of the night.
The insipid New Age-y/Oprah-style "We Speak Your Name" nominee ego-stroking in the acting categories was also problematic; only a few of the presenters (Eva Marie Saint, Whoopi Goldberg and Robert De Niro come to mind) were able to pull it off. Next year I propose having Steve Martin hand out all of the awards. Yes, my love for him is known far and wide, but he excels at taking the piss out of the same pretentious, self-congratulatory nitwits whose approval Hugh Jackman so nakedly desires. And so what if Jackman's a song-and-dance man? Anyone who has seen "Pennies from Heaven" and "All of Me" knows that Martin can cut a rug with the best of them.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Also blasé about tonight's ceremony: the normally excitable Robert Osborne, the reigning queen of Turner Classic Movies and a professional Oscar historian, who recently told The Chicago Sun-Times: "We forget that the importance of the Oscars is to award artistic achievement. I'm not sure it is anymore." I'm with Osborne on two things -- that the Best Supporting Actress push for Kate Winslet in "The Reader" was ridiculous (she ended up being nominated in the Best Actress category and is widely expected to win; I'd rather see Melissa Leo take it for "Frozen River"), and that it would be great if Frank Langella won Best Actor for "Frost/Nixon."
Langella isn't thought to stand a chance in the year of "Milk" and "The Wrestler," but he's my sentimental favorite because Oscars, as we all know, are normally handed out to actors not for whatever performance they ultimately win for, but for a previous performance that was overlooked by the Academy. In my opinion, Langella deserved to win last year for "Starting Out in the Evening," but his work in that film wasn't recognized with a nomination. Honestly, I'm still shocked by that -- how dare the Academy disrespect Count Dracula! I hope he makes the rounds at the after-parties tonight and bites all their necks.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Borchers made the availability of the books enough of an issue that the Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library's board of trustees voted last night on whether to restrict minors' access to them; they ruled 5-3 in favor of censorship. (If you read more at The Topeka Capital-Journal, you'll note that the three dissenting votes were cast by women; three of the five 'yes' votes were cast by men. I'm just throwing that out there in case any of you want to say something like "The patriarchy strikes again!" I love lesbians who blame everything on the patriarchy; they're funnier than half the movies Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon made together.) The controversial decision caused one of the 'no' voters, Michele Henry, to get teary-eyed and announce, "I can hardly sit here. I am sickened to be a part of something like this."*
Does anyone else think this would make a great Lifetime Original Movie for John Waters to direct? Valerie Bertinelli could play Michele Henry, and the role of Kim Borchers has Mink Stole written all over it.
*I guess that means Henry's unaware of the national epidemic of kids going to check out "Encyclopedia Brown" books and stumbling across guides to spicing up your gay sex life instead. It happened to my cousin a few years ago and he still hasn't recovered.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Not everyone is satisfied with Smith's decision (gay rights activist Peter Tatchell doesn't understand why homophobic Jamaican reggae singers don't face similar bans), but I like it. Not as much as I'd like to see Fred and Shirley picketed by thousands of angry gays and stylish drag queens holding signs that say "God Hates Hags," but it'll do for now.
Edited to add: Smith, by the way, is still insane.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
If you think you know where this is headed -- that a member of the Bay City Rollers, a group I'm more familiar with as a punch line than as musicians (my middle-aged mom was more of a Carole King and Carly Simon girl in her youth) -- has come out of the closet, you're right. Sort of.
Singer Les McKeown, who fronted the band for most of the '70s, admitted during an appearance on the British TV show "Rehab" (which is apparently similar to VH1's "Celebrity Rehab," a program I hope that none of you watch -- there are much better things you could be doing with your time, and it wouldn't kill you to read a book or take your dog for a walk or something) that he's been shtupping guys throughout his lengthy marriage to a woman.
The revelation struck the Daily Mail as scandalous, but in reviewing the old photos of McKeown that accompany the article, I'm finding their shock a wee bit disingenuous. For a less tabloidy take on McKeown and his struggles with substance abuse, Scotland on Sunday has an interview with him that doesn't feature any sidebar links to stories about Posh Spice or Kylie Minogue.
For anyone too lazy or disinterested to click the links, McKeown would like to stay married to his wife despite his interest in man-sex, which is the only thing that prevented me from calling this post "Pop Star Everyone Thought Was Gay Shocks World By Revealing He's Gay (And It's Not Ricky Martin)." I mean, I may not be familiar with their music, but who hasn't heard the "Gay City Rollers" jokes a million times by now?
As a parting bonus, here's a 30-year-old picture of Les doing a somewhat drunken and dim-witted looking version of jazz hands.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Related: "Coronation Street" Residents Prepare for Potluck Dinners
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Yes, this is called our most romantic holiday for a reason, and for the sake of romance, which has given us so many great movies and songs, I'm willing to overlook the most preposterous things about Valentine's Day. Take, for example, its crass commercialism, with all its stupid suggestions that women only care about jewelry and chocolate. I won't say a word about that.* Nor will I dwell on the fact that countless couples who are happy tonight will have acrimoniously split by this time next year. After all, that's hardly unique to Valentine's Day. (There are people who are single now who weren't single on Columbus Day.) Instead I will wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day, one I hope was filled with Preston Sturges films and old Drifters records, or whatever it is you like. (Maybe you're more the "Breaking the Waves" and bondage type, which is cool. You might have to be a masochist to visit this site with any regularity.) Oh, and I hope you took care not to pass STDs to anyone -- that's only supposed to be done at Christmas.
*I'm making a real sacrifice here because there's a lot I'd like to say about the fact that "Nights in Rodanthe," which was easily one of the worst films of 2008, is currently selling at a respectable clip on DVD simply because it was released to coincide with Valentine's Day. If hell exists, a seat must surely be reserved there for Nicholas Sparks.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
In the dark, romantic fairy tale, the two women flirt, gaze at one another profoundly, fight, gaze some more, cry, gaze, cry, gaze. The whole thing concludes with a scene in which Ms. Sobieski may or may not have sex with Ms. Skye's dead body.Okay then! BTW, next week I'll be screening a short film based on my own personal experiences. It will consist of two women sitting in awkward silence, occasionally grimacing and checking their watches, and conclude with one of them calling the other uncommunicative. The accusation will be met with more silence, but there's a moment of suspense and ambiguity at the very end when the other woman finally looks like she's going to open her mouth. Is she about to speak, or simply sigh? Critics will spend decades getting into passionate arguments about it in the pages of Cahiers du cinéma and Sight & Sound. There won't be any necrophilia (Lynne Stopkewich pretty much cornered the market on that with "Kissed"), and anyone who shows up wearing an eccentric headband will be ordered to leave. You've been warned.
"It's based upon my personal experiences. My harrowing and complicated relationships with the people closest to me," Ms. Wohl told the Transom. She was garbed in slim black pants, a frilly satin blouse and her usual eccentric headband.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
"I actually made the choice to be straight as a kid," she says. "Early on I knew [being gay] wasn't gonna fly. No way. And from the teachers and church and all it was, This is wrong! What's wrong with me? And you pray and ask God to take it away, and you bury it and bury it, and you shut that part of yourself off. Then you try to live the life that you're supposed to live."But she also gets in a few good jokes, the best about the media coverage devoted to her coming out at a marriage equality rally in Las Vegas last year after the passage of Proposition 8 in California: "I was like, Damn, whatever happened to 'What happens in Vegas...?' "
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I'll admit that I'm not quite sure I buy what Kelly's selling here, but I get why she seized the opportunity to prattle on about her alleged heterosexuality. A simple Google search shows that a lot of people think she's gay, and she has a new album to promote. What I don't get is why she thinks that being a lesbian means she'd have to date someone like herself. It's not like one woman is every woman (unless she's Chaka Khan), so there's no logic to her attempted logic. Her comments about feminism weren't much better, which is why I suggest forgetting all about the PopEater interview and taking a gander at this picture of Kelly that was snapped at the Playboy Club a few months ago instead. She's posing like fucking Papi from "The L Word," people. Wake up and smell the flannel shirts.
* About the headline: I don't really think Kelly Clarkson sucks. (Anyone who sings "Crimson and Clover" in concert without changing the lyrics is all right with me.) It was just really hard to pass up using a headline like that.
Monday, February 2, 2009
In happier, non-tennis news, Cherry Jones digs Golda Meier and uses the word "goyim" in this interview about her work on the new season of "24." I don't watch "24" (its creator, Joel Surnow, donated $2,000 to Rick Santorum in 2006 and I'd feel dirty doing anything that might help line his pockets), but in the wake of Tammy Lynn Michaels going nuts about Rick Warren and misspelling "yarmulke" all over the place in December, I was dreading the next shout-out a lesbian celebrity gave to the Jews. Thank you, Cherry Jones, for not making strange comments about matzo ball soup. You're a mensch.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
BEHIND the gate at Alapine, about five miles from the nearest town in the southern Appalachian mountains near Georgia, the women live in simple houses or double-wide trailers on roads they have named after goddesses, like Diana Drive. They meet for potluck dinners, movie and game nights and "community full moon circles" during which they sing, read poems and share thoughts on topics like "Mercury in retrograde — how is it affecting our communication?"I would sooner kill myself than live in a community like that (the first time someone asked me how Mercury in retrograde was affecting our communication, I'd snap "Are you fucking kidding me?"), but I guess it takes all kinds.
P.S. You know the only thing "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains" was missing? Some "Times Square"-esque lesbian overtones. That the screenplay made that impossible by having all the band mates be related was kind of lame. Aren't girl bands always better when one or two members give off the vibe that they could go either way? That's the only reason I ever watched a Spice Girls music video: to determine which Spices would be the most likely to hook up with each other. It's been a long time, but I think my conclusion was that Ginger and Scary were skanky and up for anything, that Sporty was so eager for approval that she'd do whatever they told her to do, that Baby was a boring heterosexual, and that Posh's lesbian experience was probably limited to making out with her own reflection in the mirror while lost in a starvation-induced haze. If any of you disagree with that assessment, feel free to let me know where I went wrong.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Katie Holmes thing is troubling because she's probably already being drugged by Tom Cruise or someone on his payroll, and if the pills mix and they're not supposed to she could break out in hives or grow a second head or something. (On the upside, having a second head might expand her dramatic range.) The key party possibility is especially disconcerting because, c'mon, they're my parents, and just thinking about that makes me want to throw up more than anyone has ever thrown up in the history of the world. I'm not sure where I'm going with this; I think the moral is to never watch "The Ice Storm" if you live anywhere that might experience severe winter weather.
* When driving conditions are difficult everyone becomes anxious, and when people are anxious they're more likely to be terse than chatty. Since I hate when people say things like "Good morning!" and "How are you?", I wish everyone was terse all the time.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Mind you, I watched "Big Love" last week instead of the season premiere of "The L Word," so I can't comment on the particulars of this "Oh my God, they killed Jenny! You bastards!" plot development yet. It just seems obvious that the viewers who have faithfully watched (and almost as faithfully complained about -- not that that ever stopped them from watching) this train wreck for the last five seasons aren't tuning in for the storytelling.
Grouse as they might at the prospect of Jenny's death spurring a season-long game of Clue, these viewers come from hardy stock, having suffered through missteps including but not limited to voyeuristic roommate guy; drag king Ivan; the Max debacle; the Betty invasion, which happened over and over again; Jenny turning into a self-harming stripper/Talmudic scholar when repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse came to the surface (she wasn't really a Talmudic scholar, but I still laugh when I think of her breaking out the Hebrew); Dana's death; Alice fucking a vampire; Tina's ill-fated return to man-cock; Kit getting pregnant at the age of 87; Shane having sex with every woman she meets (and not seeming to care when it's hinted that one of them might be an arsonist); and freaking Papi.
In other words, the people who watch this show -- and I know because I'm one of them -- have no respect for their own intelligence, don't care about decent writing or acting (if the fans cared about decent acting, they wouldn't have spent so much time complaining about Mia Kirshner and Marlee Matlin on assorted message boards over the years; and they wouldn't have been so invested in the Tina/Bette pairing), and only watch "The L Word" because lesbian characters are almost impossible to find anywhere else. Hell, the writers could probably kill off several more characters and while the viewers would complain, they'd likely keep tuning in as long as every now and then a hot actress appeared and (to borrow a phrase from an SNL sketch) hugged another woman with her legs in friendship.
The real crime in all of this (if the character is actually dead) might be that Jenny wasn't killed off years ago, which would have served the dual purpose of pleasing viewers and freeing Mia Kirshner to pursue more work with directors like Brian De Palma and Atom Egoyan and less with visionless goofballs like Ilene Chaiken.
(Yes, this was a paltry post, but I'm still too jittery to write anything else. Give me a few hours to calm down and sleep a little, and then I'll try to scrounge up something to complain about.)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Let me tell you a story about Jane Addams. When I was in fifth grade, my history class learned about child labor legislation and settlement houses and female involvement in social and political activism and all of that. Jane Addams was a big part of the unit. At the time I was an oblivious kid who'd yet to pick up on the fact that my aunt and her female roommate were more than roommates, but after reading a few paragraphs about Addams my gaydar started going off like Fannie Flagg -- "Match Game" era Fannie Flagg, the queerest of them all -- had entered the room.
The people who think Addams wasn't gay, the ones who can somehow keep a straight face while trying to sell us that "romantic friendship" line, they'll say that a ping (or twelve) on the gaydar is meaningless. Sometimes they'd even be right. But aren't they also being kind of deliberately obtuse?
The fifth-grade teacher who taught me about Jane Addams was a mild-mannered man in his mid-thirties who had never been married to a woman, professed not to have a girlfriend, but wore a wedding band anyway. He shared a house with, and routinely traveled with, his long-term male roommate. What would the historians who are reluctant to concede that Addams was likely gay (after all, they've never seen Paris Hilton-style video footage of her having sex with Mary Rozet Smith) make of my teacher and his "roommate," a man who was still in the picture years later when a friend's sibling took the same class and had the same teacher. Would they try to act like the two men were just very close pals, or would they do a collective spit-take and shout "Bitch, please!" if asked to believe they weren't a couple? I'm not a historian myself, but you can mark me down in the "Bitch, please!" camp when it comes to both Addams and my teacher.