Thursday, October 9, 2008

Weren't These Tracks on "M!ssundaztood?"

I think this photo speaks for itself.

When you're reading a review of a cabaret show and come across a description that says "over the course of 60 minutes, and in about 10 songs" the performer sings about "the ubiquity of fanny packs on lesbians, the need for upper-body strength in lesbian sex, finding your soulmate on the Internet, and an affinity for U-Hauls," the first thing that probably comes to mind is: Oh, Pink's collaborating with Linda Perry again.

The culprits are actually Amy Turner and Kathryn Lounsbery, a musical-comedy duo I hadn't heard of before reading this review of That's What She Said! -- a review that's particularly charming because gay-but-not-lesbian critic Richard Dodds doesn't know what the hell they're talking about with the upper-body strength thing. A bit of research shows that Turner and Lounsbery are trying to "make the world smile - one dyke at a time" (good luck with that, you crazy kids) and that they share a fondness for colorful jackets; you can check out their music online. For their next trick, I want them to write a song about how every third lesbian is named Amy. That function was previously filled by the ever-popular Tammy, but then the '90s happened and many a young Amy who'd been born in the mid-to-late seventies discovered the riot grrrl scene and women's studies programs. Just like that, Amy was all the Sapphic rage.

Sapphic rage, by the way? Another great topic for a song. Or an opera. An opera set at MichFest. Lea DeLaria can star. Anyone who wants to develop this idea should contact my people immediately, before Joel Schumacher snaps it up for Gerard Butler.

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