Saturday, October 4, 2008

Short Cuts: Evil Gays in Miniskirts Edition

If you fuck with the miniskirt, you fuck with Debbie Harry. If you fuck with Debbie Harry, you fuck with the gays. You do not want to fuck with the gays.

James Nsaba Buturo, the Ugandan Minister of Ethics and Integrity who last month railed against the evils of the miniskirt, told reporters at a Saturday press conference that homosexuality is an "attempt to end civilization." Buturo, who is under the mistaken impression that gay people can't reproduce, said: "Who is going to occupy Uganda 20 years from now if we all become homosexuals?" If I could take a crack at this, I'm pretty sure the answer is -- wait for it -- homosexuals. Am I right? Do I get a cookie? But Buturo should worry not; the gays are still too busy signing up everyone who wanders into West Hollywood to take a stab at Uganda anytime soon.

Someone finally gets it...

Campbell Brown, the CNN host who destroyed McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds on live TV not too long ago, explains to the New York Times how the media lost its way:
"As journalists, and certainly for me over the last few years, we've gotten overly obsessed with parity, especially when we're covering politics. We kept making sure each candidate got equal time — to the point that it got ridiculous in a way.

"So when you have Candidate A saying the sky is blue, and Candidate B saying it's a cloudy day, I look outside and I see, well, it's a cloudy day. I should be able to tell my viewers, 'Candidate A is wrong, Candidate B is right.' And not have to say, 'Well, you decide.' Then it would be like I'm an idiot. And I'd be treating the audience like idiots."

She's absolutely right, though I'd change "Then it would be like I'm an idiot" to "That would make me an idiot." There's no 'like' about it. And I can already hear the Fox News faithful, who won't settle for anything less than being treated like total idiots, taking umbrage at her analysis and shaking their tiny fists and screaming: It's not your job to tell us about the sky! You're not a meteorologist!

Also at the Times:

For all the starburst magic she worked on Rich "Never Going to Live This Down" Lowry, Sarah Palin failed to sexually arouse Gail Collins and Bob Herbert, whose post-debate columns were appropriately somber.

Collins concludes:
This entire election season has been a long-running saga about the rise of women in American politics. On Thursday, it all went sour. The people boosting Palin's triumph were not celebrating because she demonstrated that she is qualified to be president if something ever happened to John McCain. They were cheering her success in covering up her lack of knowledge about the things she would have to deal with if she wound up running the country.
Herbert writes:

But after Senator Biden suggested that John McCain's answer to the nation's energy problems was to "drill, drill, drill," Ms. Palin promptly pointed out, as if scoring a point, that "the chant is 'Drill, baby, drill!'"

How's that for perspective? The credit markets are frozen. Our top general in Afghanistan is dialing 911. Americans are losing jobs by the scores of thousands. And Sarah Palin is making sure we know that the chant is "drill, baby, drill!" not "drill, drill, drill."

Bob is forgetting that the "baby" is important. It's what sends things we'd rather not imagine ricocheting through Rich Lowry's living room. Speaking of which, if you missed Keith Olbermann naming Rich Lowry the "Worst Person in the World" last night, you can watch the segment online. Lowry's mention starts around the 90 second mark and it's an instant classic.

Kristin Davis should join her next time...

Cynthia Nixon kicks ass, but you probably already knew that. Addressing a standing-room only crowd as she campaigned for Barack Obama in South Florida last week, Nixon ripped into Amendment 2, a superfluous anti-gay initiative cynically designed to drive homophobes to the polls on November 4. As she points out, that already worked in 2004:

"In Florida… [Republicans] have tried to do again what they did four years ago: they put anti-gay initiatives on the ballot to bring out the homophobes in droves. What happened four years ago was so horrible. It was such a kick in the stomach. We all felt like we were the scapegoat, like we were the target."

Nixon went on to say:

"It's going to be really close in Florida. But my hope is that when Barack Obama wins, we're going to know that those were LGBT votes. And last time they used us as a wedge, but this time we're going to be the edge."

You can read more about Amendment 2 at SayNo2.com.

And finally...

I don't get all the media interest in a supposed rivalry between CNBC anchors Maria "Money Honey" Bartiromo and Erin "Street Sweetie" Burnett. Maybe it's that I can't get past their sexist nicknames, which make them sound like wisecracking Joan Blondell characters trying to claw their way to social respectability in an early '30s comedy. Maybe it's that I'm not a sexually frustrated hedge fund manager with X-rated dreams of turning on the TV one day to find them in the heat of an erotically charged catfight over tech stocks.

Whatever the case, I found this Vanity Fair article about the two of them interesting because it mentions that Burnett played college field hockey. Have you ever seen a woman on TV and thought to yourself, She definitely played field hockey? It happens to me only rarely, but Burnett was one I felt very strongly knew her way around a stick. Which is one of the many reasons I cringed (and gagged, and cringed some more) when Hardball host Chris Matthews went all lecherous on her last year. Didn't he see Red Eye? Didn't it teach him anything?

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