Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Short Cuts: Joan Jett Thinks Your Gaydar Sucks

"I got girls, girls all over the -- wait, that's private."

What the hell kind of malfunctioning gaydar does Joan Jett think we have? The legendarily badass rocker, who is part of the True Colors Tour this summer and is slated to release a new greatest hits package later this year, recently told Spinner that she hasn't divulged her sexuality to the public because she's not in the business of ruining fantasies. As she explained to writer Jessica Robertson (you can read the full interview, including the usual "It's about setting boundaries" spiel, here):
It really boils down to this: I want to please everybody. I want every guy and every girl thinking that I'm singing these songs to them, because I am. If I make a hard, fast case on where I stand then that takes away a lot of the fantasy. Music entails a lot of fantasy. I want people to be able to go there with me. Some people might think it's a cop-out. I don't care. That's how I feel.
Whether or not you approve of her stance, it's an incredibly honest answer that neatly encapsulates the ultimate dilemma of the "closeted" celebrity, which is this: actors and musicians are packaged and sold as products, and if they want to be successful, they're going to make every effort to appeal to the largest possible base of consumers. And her explanation serves a dual purpose, because the way Jett approached the subject, she turned it into one of those non-answer answers that's really only a non-answer if you're an idiot. Or something. I'm sleep-deprived, people. If I'm barely coherent when I've had a full night's rest, it should go without saying that coherence is completely out of the question right now.

In other news...

Cynthia Nixon was honored by the Point Foundation last night for not trying to appease lust-crazed Sex and the City fans by keeping mum on her personal life. Accepting the Point Courage Award for being a LGBT role model, Nixon said, "When you're a young gay person, you yearn for nothing so much as the presence of other gay people, most especially, an older generation of gay people who can encourage and inspire you." Continues PEOPLE.com:
That being said, Nixon – who had two children with her longtime boyfriend Danny Mozes before their 2003 split – acknowledged that she was not an out teenager. "That is part of what I look back on now as ... my straight period," she said.
I get where she's coming from, though my own straight period was considerably shorter, lasting only a few months when I was in preschool back in '87.

And a PS for those of you wondering why I'm commenting on the Jett interview five days after the fact...

I'd like to offer this in my defense: In addition to being swamped at work, I've been methodically working my way through the latest Warner Bros. Bette Davis collection in my spare time. Did you know that All This, and Heaven Too is about eight trillion hours long? Not that Charles Boyer isn't worth it, but I haven't been this emotionally depleted since the Hellmouth collapsed in the final episode of Buffy.

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