Tuesday, February 26, 2008

This Week on DVD: The Who Cares? Edition

This week's new DVD offerings are pretty dismal, y'all. The only absolute must-see is Criterion's 4-disc set of Bertolucci's The Last Emperor (and even that doesn't have me as weak-kneed and googly-eyed as last week's Pierrot le Fou release), and the only genuine should-see is Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited, which Netflix told me would arrive today. Guess what? Netflix lied. Netflix is, as Al Franken might say, a lying liar. If I could get all Say Anything for a moment, I'd like to strum an acoustic guitar and sing the following: "Netflix lies, Netflix lies, Netflix lies, when he cries." (Thanks, everyone, and remember to tip your waitress.)

Now, where were we? If you like Robert Zemeckis, or if you want to see a digitized and naked Angelina Jolie, you might consider checking out Beowulf. If you want to see a non-digitized and naked Angelina Jolie, you should check out — oh, who am I kidding? Every last one of you already owns a copy of Gia. If you've ever wondered what became of Danielle Brisebois, you might enjoy Life After Tomorrow, a documentary about dozens of former child actresses who played the title role in productions of Annie. And if you're a fan of Tom "The 'Stache" Selleck, he stars in Sea Change, the fourth made-for-TV installment in Robert B. Parker's Jesse Stone series.

Depressing, isn't it?

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