Monday, January 14, 2008

Ellen Page on "The Breakfast Club" and Blow Jobs

Ellen Page in Hard Candy: "I fucking hate Goldfrapp ... but I love Team Dresch."

Clearly this item belongs in the department of delayed reactions bin this New York Magazine article first appeared in late November, before I started spewing nonsense here but out of the kindness of my heart I'm posting it anyway, for the throngs of young lesbians who have been running straight home from screenings of Juno en masse to Google "Ellen Page + baby dyke." (I know you're out there because I'm related to one of you.)

From Page's interview with Logan Hill:

"What they do to Ally Sheedy at the end of The Breakfast Club," she groans, recalling how Sheedy's androgynous loner gets a pink Barbie makeover so she can kiss the jock. "How could that have been allowed to happen? No, really. I mean it. I know it's iconic … but you've got to be kidding me!

"Think about the poor kids who've watched this stuff," she continues, leaning into her argument. Films like that make tomboys like her "start judging ourselves, just because, you know, you'd rather climb trees than give blow jobs."
And Hill notes of Juno:
The movie could very well make her a star, not just the next Molly Ringwald but the next Johnny Depp: a transgressive teen idol whose weirdo-hero crossover appeal might evolve into real staying power. But perhaps it really is best that she avoid L.A. Because right now she's watching herself play one kind of girl yet still being pushed toward another. "It's just freaky. Like, are we really still stuck there?" she asks, noting that a few photo shoots have already set off warning bells. "Every shoot, I don't want to be thrown some lacy pink shirt—sometimes I would prefer to not wear a shirt at all. At least I'd be owning that moment.

"I mean, Annie Lennox used to be able to dress like a man and sell albums," says Page, in her flannel shirt and Converse sneakers. "I don't think a big star could do that right now."

So, let's tally things up. Ellen Page calls John Hughes out on his hackiness, points to Annie Lennox as a style icon and comes out in favor of climbing trees over giving blow jobs. By my calculations that means she kicks ass, and her ass-kickingness must be celebrated now, before Hollywood chews her up and spits her out, right onto the sets of movies like Anna and the King and Flightplan. And don't play dumb about that last part; you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't think there were a few similarities between Page and Jodie Foster.

Speaking of which, if you're disappointed by a lack of explicit lesbian content in this post, thinking perhaps I'd have footage of Page re-creating scenes from Bound with one of her Canadian compatriots to offer you, I have two things to say. First: you're an idiot. Second: keep an eye out for an upcoming movie called Jack and Diane, which stars Page and will feature some girl-girl action with a lycanthropic twist. It is undoubtedly the film Lon Chaney Jr. always wanted to make.

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